DGrayMan: Behind the Scenes
by Cheeruru
Summary: DGM BTS! Where the DGM characters are really just actors...that there are more to than you think. C:
1. Act One

It was already a crappy morning

It was already a crappy morning. Even before he even left his house, Sherrill already knew this day was going to _suck_.

Why?

Well, a few reasons.

When he woke up he found the house FREEZING because the electricity had gone out. Because of THIS he had to nearly freeze his ass off just to get dressed. When he finally got dressed, he tried to make a quick breakfast of toast but found the toaster was broken. So what did he have instead? A cherry "chewy" granola bar.

On top of all of this, he still had to go to work and THAT'S what topped it all off.

"Freaking heater...freaking toaster..." Sherrill hissed, locking the door while attempting to keep his long hair out of his face. "Why does this have to happen to ME?"

As soon as Sherrill turned to walk off, a gust of cold wind smacked him in the face, sending his hair flying almost directly up.

"AUUUGH!" Sherrill flailed. "Ah SCREW IT!" He pulled his hair into a ponytail and stuffed it down the back of his grey sweater.

God how he hated his hair. If it was up to him, he would've shaved his head bald. But the damn director wouldn't allow it.

All because of the fag character he had to play. The character that wasn't anything LIKE him. For one, his character was overly enthusiastic while Sherrill himself didn't give a shit about what happened around him. Two, Sherrill hated his 'daughter' Road. She was a stuck up little brat. And three, he would NEVER, even if his life depended on it, want to kiss _Tyki_.

Ahh Tyki. If only the fangirls knew.

Sherrill stopped in front of the huge grey studio; his prison.

"Here I go..." Sherrill sighed. "To hell I go..." He threw open the heavy matching doors to the studio, the warm air hitting him as a reminder that he had to do this every day until D.Gray-Man ended rather than a relief from the cold weather outside.

The first thing he saw when he walked in was, like he always did, Debito stuffing donuts down his throat while, every so often, washing down the sugary remains with sugared down coffee.

"Yuck, Debito." Sherrill grimaced, walking over to Debito and the breakfast table.

Debito swallowed the mouthful of cherry donut. "What's disgusting?"

Sherrill shook his head. "You're going to get fat off of all that crap."

"Me? FAT?" Debito cackled. He pulled the waist of his pants and let go, letting them slap back around his hips. "You're FUNNY, Sherrill. I mean, I eat all the time and I can still fit into the tight crap I have to wear."

Sherrill let out a small laugh.

It was funny. If you didn't know Debito, you would have looked at him and guessed that he just experienced a major break up or something and didn't give a crap any more. He was wearing a humongous blue sweater and loose grey sweat pants. These made him look thirty pounds bigger than he really was.

"Oh yeah." Sherrill chuckled. "Just wait a few years." He grabbed a cup and filled it halfway with coffee. "You'll be looking like Chaoji..."

Debito dropped the chocolate donut he was about to stuff in his mouth. "Wh-What was that SHERRILL?!"

Sherrill smirked and walked off.

He flopped down in a faded red recliner near the new T.V.; his usual spot. This usually meant he had ten minutes to watch a bit of T.V. and quickly drink his coffee before _he_ came in and annoyed the crap out of everyone. And by he, he meant--

"Hallo lovelehs!" Tyki yelled to Debito and Sherrill (the only people in the lounge of the studio), his purple scarf fluttering behind him. "I'm sorry I'm so late. Traffic was DREADFUL!"

Debito glanced at Tyki then went back to scarfing donuts and coffee.

"Late..." Sherrill shook his head. "Damn."

Tyki walked over to Debito and gasped. "Debi-tan! Do you know how HORRIBLE that stuff is for your figure? Especially those ah-DORABLE thighs of yours?!" He grabbed a low fat granola bar from off the table, grabbed a water bottle from out of the cooler and thrust them at Debito. "If you're going to eat ANYTHING eat those." He snatched the chocolate donut out of Debito's hand. "And why don't you go run on the treadmill for ten mintues to work off all the weight you just gained?"

Debito turned bright red. "W-Weight? W-What the hell do you m-mean WEIGHT? My metabolism--"

"What Tyki is TRYING to say is that you're starting to look pregnant." Sherrill scoffed. "So get off your fat ass, quit eating donuts, and get on the treadmill."

Debito threw down the granola bar and the bottle of water and crossed his arms. "I'll just STARVE myself then!"

"Oh please." Came another voice. "You can hardly go ten MINUTES without stuffing your face with fatty foods."

Everyone simultaneously turned to look near the studio doors; Jasdero.

He had his long blond hair tied back in a loose ponytail and was wearing a tight black sweater with equally tight light blue jeans.

"Ooh! Jassy-kun!" Tyki shuffled over to Jasdero and tightly wrapped his arms around his waist. "You are looking absolutely dee-licious today! Special occasion?"

Jasdero pushed Tyki away and walked over the the breakfast table. "I dress like this every day, Tyki. Quit acting like I don't so you can have an excuse to touch me."

"It's not MY fault your so HAWT." Tyki pouted.

"I'm ignoring that comment." Jasdero said, grabbing a bottle of water out of the cooler next to the table. He turned to Debito. "What are YOU wearing? It looks like Goodwill threw up on you."

"What do you HAVE against what I'm WEARING?" Debito snapped. "Like it MATTERS what we wear now! We're just going to change into our costumes later!"

Jasdero sat down in the chair opposite Sherrill and crossed his legs. "My point is you're an actor, Debito. Not some slob that works at McDonalds. You want people to ENVY you, not think 'he must be the donut delivery boy at that D.Gray place.' Therefore, you must look _hot_--" He gave Tyki a 'say-something-and-I'll-stuff-your-head-down-Debito's-throat' look. "--all the time."

"I don't believe that." Sherrill butted in.

"Oh?" Jasdero smirked. "Then what do _you_ believe, Sherrill?"

"I say that people should envy your money; your status. Not the shit you wear."

"So you say if I walk around the streets looking like Goodwill here, people will believe I have thousands of dollars?"

"No. But I'm sure if I walked around looking like you, people would think I'm gay."

"Oh, Sherrill. From what people have seen of you on the show, they already think you're gay."

Sherrill was silent.

It took ALL his strength not to wrap his hands around Jasdero's throat and throw him into a wall.

Jasdero was always like this. ALWAYS. He pretended he was better than everyone else just because his only 'rival' for fashion was Tyki. Therefore, he was better than everyone else...according to him.

Sure he was, dare he say it, sexier then the character he played; Debito's loveable blond twin who was also apparently a masochist. But, in truth, he was an ass.

But Sherrill didn't dare say anything; he wasn't any better then Jasdero.

"What's wrong with being GAY?" Tyki broke the awkward silence.

"Nothing." Debito's shoulders dropped. "I'm going to my dressing room..."

"Ah! Splendid idea!" Tyki clapped. "Shall Tyki help?"

"Don't touch me." Debito hissed, stomping off.

"Oh dear!" Tyki squealed. "He's even kee-YOOTER when he's mad. Oh, if only Debito drank." He looked up. "He would get drunk and since he wouldn't be able to do anything I could--OOH! I get chills just thinking about it!"

Jasdero and Sherrill exchanged disgusted looks.

"Tyki, please keep your Debito rape fantasies to yourself..." Jadero threw the now empty water bottle in the trash can near him. "We don't want to hear about--"

"UHF!" Sherrill's head jerked forward. "W-What the he--" He looked back, trying to figure out the cause of this sudden...action. "Lavi?!"

The red-head behind him laughed and attempted to hide the giant plastic fish prop he had hit Sherrill with behind his back. "Oh! Hello Sherrill-tama. I-I-How ARE you this WONDERFUL Monday morning?"

Sherrill's eye twitched.

Ugh. Lavi. The most immature actor...ever. Even worse than Tyki; he was a five-year-old in an eighteen-year-old's body.

"What do you want Lavi?" Sherrill sighed.

Lavi held up Kanda's sword; Mugen. "Look!"

"Lavi..." Sherrill snatched Mugen away from him. "What did director tell you about going into other people's dressing rooms?"

"Uh...Don't...do it?" Lavi grinned.

"And WHY aren't you supposed to?"

"Because...people need their privacy?"

Sherrill forced himself to smile. "Vewy GOOD." His smile faded as quickly as it appeared. "Now leave me alone and go bug Cross or something."

"Buh-But Cross-san isn't here...and he doesn't like to be bothered. He's a...'germatobe.'"

"Germaphobe. Now go play in traffic or something."

Lavi threw the fish aside and walked off.

"Brat." Sherrill sneered, setting the sword on the table beside him. "Why did the director even hire him in the first place?"

"I want to know the same about you." Jadsero grinned.

Sherrill clenched his fists and forced yet another smile. "Funny coming from someone who only had to try out for a retard."

"Hn." Jasdero's grin widened. "I'd rather be a retard then a pedophile."

Sherrill jumped out of his chair "The HELL did you call me?!" He lunged forward, ready to rip Jasdero's eyes out of that blond little head of his.

Before he could, Tyki raced forward and tackled Sherrill, pinning him to the floor. "Sherbert, leave Jassy alone. He's always like this, you know that."

Like HELL he did.

"Get OFF of me, TYKI!" Sherrill struggled to get out from under Tyki, wildly flailing his arms in an attempt to grap on to the recliner he was previously sitting in.

"Not until you promise not to kill Jasdero."

"FINE. I WON'T. Not get your bony ASS off of me!"

Tyki hopped off of Sherrill. "Alright. I don't see why you two fight all the time. I mean, you two don't really have a reason to..."

At that moment, Cross walked in clutching his script to his turtleneck sweater. "Uh...h-hi everyo--"

"CUROSSU!" Tyki scrambled away from Sherrill and Jasdero and hugged Cross. "So glad you're here early for on--"

"WAUUUGHH!" Cross flailed, dropped his script and ran to a corner of the lounge. "Duh-Don't t-t-touch me! I-I don't know where y-you've put your h-hands and you could h-have AIDS! AUGH! AIDS?! NOOO!" He sprinted to his dressing room.

Yup, That was typical Cross. He was like, an OCD germaphobe. He hated being even slightly touched by anyone, hence the fact he had TONS of Germ-X and Febreze in his dressing room.

"A-Am I-I that dirty?" Tyki sniffled, pulling his scarf over his mouth.

"According to Cross, everyone is dirty." Jasdero stood up to get another water bottle. "You should have learned not to take it personally by now..."

Tyki nodded. "I-I know b-but I'm not dirty...I even take two showers everyday and...and...I'M EVEN STILL A VIRGIN!"

Sherrill stared at Tyki. "WHAT?"

Tyki grinned and blinked. "I ammmm. Those fangirls haven't gotten to me yet."

Cross, now in a completely different set of clothes and smelling like vanilla, walked back in the room. "I-I need my script..." He went completely around Tyki and warily picked up his script. "Uh...I-I'm going bak to my r-room. If d-director comes can s-someone--AUGH!" He flung his script at Tyki and hauled ass out of the lounge yelling, "I FORGOT! M-MY SCRIPT WAS TOUCHED BY A DIRTY GAY MANNNN!"

"The hell?" Sherrill scoffed.

"I-I AM A DIRTY PERSON!" Tyki, crying, also ran toward the dressing rooms.

Sherrill and Jasdero both stared in the direction that Tyki and Cross had ran.

"Today...is going to be interesting." Jasdero sighed.

Sherrill nodded.

Shit. At least they agreed on one thing.


	2. Act Two

Debito was slumped in a chair opposite his vanity, not daring to look up at the mirror in front of him; why would he want to see his ass ugly face

Debito was slumped in a chair opposite his vanity, not daring to look up at the mirror in front of him; why would he want to see his ass ugly face?

Debito stared down at his legs, tugging at the loose grey material. "What's so wrong with these clothes? I…I can't help that I hate that _crap_ Jasdero wears…I'm not into that kind of SHIT." He grabbed a safety razor off the chocolate wrapper cluttered table next to him (usually used to open fanmail and crap like that) and examined it. "…yet everyone has to make sure I feel like crap just because I wear this…" He tightened his grip on the razor. "Shit…"

He, finally, glanced at the mirror, his reflection staring back at him as if it was trying to taunt him; _"You'll never be as good as the original actor. This was all a horrible mistake. If only he hadn't died…you're nothing but a filthy replacement. You'll NEVER be as good as good as him. Never…never…n—"_

"SHIT!" Debito flung the safety razor at the vanity, sending everything, eyeliner and all, scattering on the floor. "What do _they_ know…freaking…" He sniffed, attempting to hold back tears. "D-Damn…"

There was a short moment of silence, only to be broken by the sounds of Tyki and Cross simultaneously yelling, "DIIIIRRRRTTTYYY!"

"What the…" Debito wiped his face on the sleeves of his sweater, making sure Tyki wouldn't interrogate him about why he was crying, and ran out of the dressing room.

There, he saw Tyki running close behind Cross, flailing his arms. "I-I'M A-A DIRTY P-PERSON!"

Cross sped up. 'G-Get AWAY from MEEE!" Y-You're f-filthy!" He turned into his dressing room and slammed his door shut followed by the sounds of soft whimpering. "I-I'm o-okay…J-Just c-calm duh-down, C-Cross. You are a MAN. Therefore—AUUUGH! HOW DID THAT GET IN MY DRESSING ROOM?! NOO—"

Nothing.

'He must of fainted.' Debito chuckled at the thought.

"Debi-tan?" Tyki had stopped running and caught a glimpse of Debito. He backed up. "OHH! Your EYES! They're all RED and NASTY looking!"

Debito twitched.

God. Even Tyki…

"Have you been crying sweetie?"

Debito weakly smiled. "Of course not, Tyki…"

Tyki didn't believe him one bit, Debito could tell. But, surprisingly, he didn't push the subject any further. "Lets go back, love!" He grabbed Debito's hand and started pulling him down the hallway. "We'll get you something to eat!"

Debito's eyes widened. "B-But you said…"

Tyki winked. "Your metabolism should take care of that for now. Just don't eat too much, kay?"

Debito smiled. "O-Okay!"

He let Tyki pull him down the hallway all the while thinking, _'What is it about Tyki that's so DIFFERENT from everyone else? Sure, he's gay and he IS one of the only ones who is actually nice to me…but just being around him…could it be--?'_

Debito furiously shook his head.

Oh god…

What the hell was _happening_ to him?

…

Sherrill watched as Tyki dragged Debito into the lounge, immediately walking over to the breakfast table. "Here you go, Debi-tan! Eat to your heart's content! Just don't eat too much!"

"What?" Debito protested. "That doesn't make any sense!" He stopped. "Whatever…" He grabbed a cereal bar and stuffed it in his mouth.

Around that time, Krory had walked in, trying to tuck the white part of his hair behind his ear. His attention instantly turned to Debito was busy scarfing assorted cereal bars.

"OH. GOD." Krory put his hand over his mouth as if he was trying to stop himself from gagging. "Debito…why do you insist on doing that around me?"

Debito swallowed the rest of his Rice Krispie cereal bar. "Do what?"

"_That_!"

"…All I'm doing is eating…"

"Exactly." Sherrill grinned, standing up and walking over to Debito.

"I can't BELIEVE they SERVE this stuff! I mean, c'mon!" Krory picked up a donut, holding it between his thumb and index finger like it had been touched by some hobo. "Do you know how many CALORIES are in this? 200, Debito!"

Debito snatched the donut away from Krory. "And do I care?" He licked the bottom of the donut, taking all the chocolate that was on that part off. "Not really…" He swallowed and licked his lips. "Heheh."

"YUCK!" Krory wiped the chocolate frosting off his fingers and walked over to the cooler, grabbing a bottle of Fiji water. "You're going to get FAT, Debito, and I'm going to LAUGH."

"Yeah. And I'M gonna laugh when you die of anorexia." Debito shot back.

Krory narrowed his eyes. "I am NOT anorexic, I'm just HEALTHY, thank you."

Jasdero let out a small laugh. "Right. You only eating forty calories a day is SOOO healthy."

Sherrill couldn't help but laugh right along with him. Krory was always telling people how many calories was in whatever; he was like a walking Weight Watchers guide. Anything you ate, he'd know how many calories were in it.

Sherrill grabbed yet another cub and, this time, filled it almost to the point where it was overflowing. He would definitely need it to get through today…

"4.4 calories!" Krory yelled, pointing at the cup of coffee.

"Oh god!" Sherrill gasped, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "Not 4.4 calories! I might DIE, Krory! God, I'm glad you told me!"

Krory, not catching the sarcasm, nodded. "I'm glad I told you too! You could've gained a bit of weight!"

Sherrill rolled his eyes and sat back down in the recliner, taking a small sip of coffee.

"Sherrill! You're going to gain weight!" Jasdero cackled. "God FORBID that happen!"

Sherrill glared at Jasdero. "Shut the hell up, Jas-DAAAAH!"

Someone, once again, smacked the back of Sherrill's head, making him drop his cup, all the scalding coffee spilling in his lap.

"AH SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!" Sherrill jumped up and flailed. "GOD—THAT HURTS! WHO THE HE—"

"What are you doing in _my_ chair, Sherrill?"

Allen.

Aw damn.

He had a very pissed off expression, his arms folded over his gift _D.Gray-Man_ jacket (given to him at the premiere of the show).

Behind him was a short red-head carrying a cup of coffee from Starbucks and a plate with a donut on it. She didn't look happy either, but her unhappy was an 'oh-kill-me-now' one.

This was Allen's 'personal assistant', Haruka.

"Your chair?" Sherrill scoffed. "Since when did you want to start sitting HERE?"

"Since today." Allen snapped. "Now move your fat ass so I can sit down."

Sherrill sat back in the chair. "Listen, Allen. I don't care if you ARE the main character or not. I sat here first. I'm not moving."

"Haruka!" Allen snapped his fingers. "Make him move! I refuse to sit anywhere else!"

Haruka looked at the coffee then at the donut. "A-Allen-san…my hands are full. And you told me to carry th—"

"Damnit, Haruka! I said to get him to MOVE."

Haruka flinched. "O-Okay…" She walked to the front of the chair. "Sherrill-san, can you please move for Allen-san?" She stared at him with pleading eyes.

"Allen can sit in Sherrill's lap!" Jasdero laughed. "There's enough room!"

"Ah god." Sherrill grimaced, hopping off of the chair. "In that case, he can just HAVE the chair."

Allen strode over to the chair and sat down. "UGH. This chair smells like CRAP."

"It probably smells like Sherrill!" Krory yelled from across the lounge.

"SHUT UP AND GO STARVE YOURSELF, KRORY." Sherrill hissed.

Krory sunk in his chair.

Haruka handed Allen the coffee and donut and hurried to the breakfast table before Allen could ask her to do anything else for him.

Sherrill shook his head.

God. He actually felt sorry for Haruka. Allen was so rude, even ruder than Jasdero, and WHO had to put up with it the most? Her.

Poor Haruka.

Then again, he treated everyone like crap. Especially—

"PLEASE DON'T TELL ME DIRECTOR-SAMA IS HERE YET." Kanda burst in the studio, pulling on her navy blue _D.Gray-Man_ shirt (similar to Allen's but a shirt instead; this was also given as a gift at the premiere).

Yes. Her.

All the fans (fangirls, at least) knew Kanda as an uber _hawt_ exorcist; temperamental with long raven hair that made him even sexier. But really…

That HE was a SHE. A very flat chested she.

Aside from that, Kanda's personality was WAAY different from the way she acted in the shot. She was pretty nice and EXTEREMELY tolerant of everyone (even Jasdero)…except…

"Oh." Kanda sighed, looking at Allen. "He's here…" And without another word, she sped off toward her dressing room.

"Peh." Allen spat. "Stupid bitch." He turned to look at the breakfast table. "HARUKA! Get me another coffee! And this time put FIVE creamers in it and THREE sugar cubes!"

Haruka let out a small sigh and put down the cherry donut she was about to take a bite of. "Yes, Allen-san…"

"Eh…" Tyki shook his handed the donut back to Haruka. "You eat, honey. I'll get the coffee for Al-chan."

Haruka stared at the donut. "Uh…thank you, Tyki-san…"

Tyki frowned. "It's Tyki-pon, love." He grabbed a cut and filled it with coffee. "Not Tyki-_san_."

Haruka looked down. "Whatever you say…"

After getting Allen's coffee EXACTLY how he wanted it, Tyki walked over to him and handed him the coffee. "Here!"

Allen stared at the coffee then looked up at the smiling Tyki. "Ew. I don't want that. You touched it."

Tyki, dropping his smile, leaned in towards Allen and hissed, "You better take the _damn_ coffee or I'll shove the cup up your ASS." He straightened up and grinned. "So here you go!"

Allen stood up and grinned. "Sorry. Being threatened by a homo like you won't make me take the coffee." He started to walk off. "So…good-bye. I'm going to my dressing room to get away from all you idiots."

Around the same time, Cross was walking into the lounge. So when the two crossed paths…

"HEY THERE, CROSS." Allen slapped Cross's back. "Still have that GERM problem?"

Cross let out a small yelp and ran behind the recliner. "D-Don't t-touch m-me!"

Allen, laughing to himself, walked down the hallway.

"What an ass." Jasdero snorted.

Everyone stared at Jasdero. "What?"

Krory shrugged. "I say it's good he refused that DISGUSTING crap. I mean, 4.4 calories!"

"Shut UP, Krory." Sherrill snapped. "God, we don't CARE how many calories are in a CUP of COFFEE."

Krory finished the water and threw the bottle aside. "You'll thank me one day."

"Yeah. When I'm still sexy and rich and Debito's old and FAT." Jasdeor laughed.

Debito sighed. "Yes, we know…"

Tyki threw the cup of coffee in the trash. "Ugh…"

Sherrill sat back in the recliner and looked at Tyki who was now staring in the direction Allen had walked. Allen was unbelievable; even TYKI didn't like him. The ONLY person who could put up with him was…

"OhmyGOD!" Krory jumped up and, for some odd reason, saluted. "D-Director-s-sama!"

Everyone else who was sitting down jumped up and snapped in the direction of the doors where the director was standing.

"Oh crap…" Sherrill mumbled, biting his bottom lip and glancing at Jasdero who was nervously wringing his hands.

Oh god.

They were in TROUBLE now…


End file.
